What is to be the end of this for me?

“What is to be the end of this for me, caught as I am in the snare of a strange and unnatural kind of love, which none has known before?”

           Ovid’s story of Iphis is that of a young girl who was raised as a boy when her mother was advised by the goddess Isis to do so, lying to her husband. She fell in love with her childhood friend Ianthe, and later, a marriage was arranged between them. Iphis was despaired, not knowing what it meant to be a woman loving a woman, only wishing she was a boy so she could marry Ianthe without issue. At the conclusion, the mother asks for Isis to aid her again and Isis turns Iphis from a young woman to a young man, with lengthened stride and sharpened features, able to marry Ianthe (Downing 1994).

          Many Greeks reading this tale would believe the story ends with a happily ever after, but it could be argued for any young woman discovering her own sexuality, that her love for another woman left her frightened and confused. Without stories or models of the acceptance of women loving women, girls like Iphis instead felt they could only be happy as a boy. Iphis has no idea that she is not the first woman to be drawn to other women, and these feelings persist even to this day (Downing, 1994).

          It is no secret that same-sex love was accepted and given religious validation in classical Greek mythology and literature. Furthermore, there were implications of educational and social functions attached to these relationships. In myth, we see this through Delphic Apollo who was invoked to bless homosexual unions, Sappho of Lesbos wrote poetry to women she admired and loved, and most famously, the relationship of sexually mature men with pre-pubescent boys known as paiderastia. For Greeks, it was one’s role, not one’s sex that was salient – it was the act of being active or passive, with passivity being reserved for women, slaves, and boys, but never adult men. This relationship was seen as a way for men to avoid excess and be free of his naturally inclined desires, while the boys gained a mentor and possibly a lifelong friend. But same-sex relationships between women were discounted as impossible. Sexual ethics of the Greeks was for men, and women were seen only as objects and not as moral agents. Women were considered to be infinitely lustful for men – to fill their ‘vaginal void with penises.’ Since moderation equates with self-mastery, immoderation is seen as submissive and a feminine trait. There is no mention of ethical code for women loving women, and the subject was considered taboo, even in comedy which respected very few taboos (as seen with the story Oedipus Rex). With the exception of Sappho of Lesbos, there is no written account of women who love other women, and the only perspectives are written by men and reflect their male fears and fantasies. Because of this, Greek myths that involve representations of love between human women are often written as a conquest for men to overcome. This is most obvious in the tales of the Amazons and that of the nymphs who followed Artemis (Downing 1994).